Last night I dreamed I was busy, doing a lot of things and, as it turned out, at a big theater festival. It was one of those convoluted dreams where you can’t get there from here. You go from one thing to another and another with everything at once. Kinda like my life.
Very much like my life. I’m always juggling, working on several projects at once, always have. Honestly, if I don’t, I get bored. From writing to acting to show projects, singing, to promotion and marketing. I always make time to encourage, to study, learn as quickly as I can, to teach and share, not to mention fighting a little injustice on the side. Because I believe in it all. Just throw in some laughter and the company of good friends, a little bourbon, a little wine and that’s the fuel I need.
And now, like I need another thing pulling at me, the voice in my head is telling me I need to start painting again. Which I haven’t done in over 20 years. I’m getting hungry for acrylics, large canvases, quick broad brushstrokes and a good share of burnt sienna underpainting. The voice is not haunting, but it sure as hell is beckoning.
At any rate, it’s all important to me. Though, I do often question myself about being spread too thin. Am I juggling too much or just unfocused? Shouldn’t I take a simpler, more direct path? Some projects take too long to come to fruition. Some have to be set aside while others are brought to life. Some simply fade away because they’re no longer relevant. Often, I have to backtrack. And, feel myself lucky when one project fuels the other. Bottomline, I often question that I feather out my energy in too many different directions. Which brings me back to the dream.
So, I’m in the dream and I find myself in a bustling backstage of a large theater. I am walking quickly in a direction with purpose when a stagehand stops me. He says, “Hey, did you hear?” I said, “What?’ He said, “You won the Master Lizard Award!” I said, “I did? That’s great!” I paused and then, so me, said, “What’s that?” He said, “The Master Lizard Award. It’s ‘cause you’re a doodler. You do many things.” I stopped, thought and said, “Oh, that’s right, I did direct the play and I did do….” this and that and on. I so live in the moment that, even in the dream, I had to stop, remember what I’d done and give myself credit, which I don’t often do.
I’ve decided if I get a message like this in a dream, then I’m gonna own it. Hey, I won the Master Lizard Award. The Universe bestowed it on me. Who am I to keep questioning myself? Next time I hesitate I am going to get righteous with myself and say, “Look, you’re a doodler, you do many things.” Yeah, I’m gonna own it, Master Lizard Award and all. – by Martha Hannah
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